Polarity Process
t = ~ 2 mins
StarQueen Sophania’s method for making quick decisions, by leveraging your emotions.
Often, a choice, preference, or opinion is difficult to articulate because it represents a mixture of conflicting rational thoughts and emotions. You can, however, make space between them by taking each of them to their logical extremes; this creates clarity. By letting yourself exaggerate, and express each perspective, how you really feel and think of it will become more obvious to you. This is akin to flipping a coin and realizing you would have preferred the opposite side. The Polarity Process is especially useful when you may not have the time to fully evaluate your thoughts and feelings. It can, therefore, help you reach a quick solution, without the need for further deliberation.
How to Do it
CONSIDER opposite viewpoints on a given subject:
Take a step back and reflect on a decision or position you may be unclear about. Come up with extreme opposite views about the potential choices and thoughts you are having about them.
EXPRESS these polar opposites as if they are your beliefs:
Give yourself permission to stretch out, and take some space to openly consider the extremes you came up with; this can lead you to an easier decision-making process. When you speak these statements aloud, it can make it even easier to ‘hear’ whether they ring true, or not. Try statements like this:
“I'm definitely right about selling the house.”
and “She's definitely right about keeping it.”“I’m totally going to the party, and I’m excited about it.”
and “I’m staying home and getting cozy with some tea.”
SENSE which of the statements feels more true to you:
As you voice the opposites, notice how they feel when you are saying them. Allowing yourself the space to do this will help to lessen your inner conflict, making way for deliberate thinking and perspective. You are also creating a clear separation between how you feel, and what you really believe about the situation.
You may then conceive of thoughts, ideas, and approaches that are far closer to what you believe is the ‘right’ thing to do, with complete statements such as:“We are both out to lunch on this; I think we should leave this alone and revisit it later.”
and “Each of us are right for different reasons, maybe we can delay the sale for now, but still do it later.”“I will stay home for a while, and then make a brief appearance.”
and “I’m moody right now; I will likely feel better once I’m actually there in person.”
Why it works:
What you have done here, is exaggerate the direction of each possibility so that you may clearly define what it is that you really feel about it. This makes it easier to “pick a lane” and stick to it. Committing to any decision like this creates transparency because you will be amplifying the frequency of that choice as you go along with it full-heartedly. It will, therefore, become easier to tell if it truly resonates, or feels off.
Is there a ‘wrong’ choice?
If you choose the 'wrong' direction, it doesn't matter; soon enough, you'll feel the disharmony of it through your newly-committed thoughts and actions. If anything becomes unclear, simply re-apply this process to your updated circumstance, following this updated, and most relevant path. Allowing yourself to course correct like this, will help keep you on track, even with the changing winds of life’s conditions.